Question for you… Have you ever felt or believed this way: Women are equal but inferior in a sense to the bounds of marriage?
Does God see us as inferior? Definitely not! But we should know our place in a marriage. Which is supporting and lifting our husband up. Taking on the role of support. Submission. Be a powerful helper, influencer, mom and wife, but in these clearly drawn out rules. It can get very confusing and unclear to understand what we can and cannot go after in the marriage dynamic so we can tend to live small. Small so we don’t hurt others, make others uncomfortable. We need to play the supporting role in the household because that is what we have been taught.
Are we supposed to be supportive and encouraging and loving to our husband and children? 100%! But that does not have to be our main, starring role. The role that mostly defines us. What if the wife and husband are supposed to be equally supportive and encouraging and loving? Not “one is more than the other” mentality? What if the playing field is level in this relationship? A lot of women struggle with the idea that they cannot go big in their dreams and goals. This typically does not work with certain versions of marriage that tell us a woman’s place is in the home raising the children and being the loving supportive wife that has dinner on the table when her husband gets home from work. But what if every husband and wife were free to rewrite this narrative? What if this isn’t your desired life? Who says we can’t rewrite this to be how you see your most abundant life should be? This limiting view on life can keep many of us trapped in a lifestyle that does not bring the fullness that we desire. And then we feel we are wrong because we want something outside of this “perfect” scenario. I do not believe this is biblical. Who says we have to live in such a manor? Where is it written that a women has to fit into this pretty little box society has made? Not to mention the husband having to fit into his role as well because that is what is expected from him. This box can become a prison for many and is not how God created life to be. I love when I see people go outside of what is the norm because they are in tune to what they want, either as a couple or on your own. When you listen to that still small voice and choose to go outside of what society or even well intention-ed traditions have taught us, you will find an abundant life that I believe Jesus wants to give us. Does that look the same for everyone? No, and it shouldn’t! Does that look like adventures through the Amazon jungles or uprooting your family uncharted places? Nope! It just means that you should be free to explore what’s best for you, as a uniquely made woman, who has her own set of gifts and dreams that that deserve being tapped into as much as your husbands! You owe it to yourself, Your Creator, your husband and your children to live into who your really are. Renew who you are in God, not in what society tells you you should be.
Today’s steps to get you to firm foundation:
What “traditional” ways are you living that you find unsettling or that do not jive with you or your husband’s personality? What can you do to change it? What’s a small step in a direction that feels right to you but maybe contrary to society? It doesn’t have to be a big change. Give yourself grace to mess up. Getting it right all the time is a lie and it makes people (me) feel like they should not even try for fear of making others uncomfortable.
You owe it to yourself and others to try!
I have probably thought of what seems like a million different reasons I should not be writing this first post. I am not a writer. Does what I say really matter? Do I matter? Will this even go anywhere? Will anyone read this, besides the friends and family I force to? I am 41. This…